Signs your friend or love one is in an abusive relationship and might need your help

People who are being abused may:

• Seem afraid or anxious to please their partner
• Go along with everything their partner says and does
• Check in often with their partner to report where they are and what they’re doing
• Receive frequent, harassing phone calls from their partner
• Talk about their partner’s temper, jealousy, or possessiveness

Warning signs of physical abuse

People who are being physically abused may:

• Have frequent injuries, with the excuse of “accidents.”
• Frequently miss work, school, or social occasions, without explanation.
• Dress in clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (for example, wearing long sleeves in the summer or sunglasses indoors).

Warning signs of isolation

People who are being isolated by their abuser may:

• Be restricted from seeing family and friends.
• Rarely go out in public without their partner.
• Have limited access to money, credit cards, or the car.

Psychological warning signs of abuse

People who are being abused may:

• Have very low self-esteem, even if they used to be confident.
• Show major personality changes (e.g. an outgoing person becomes withdrawn).
• Be depressed, anxious, or suicidal.

Speak up if you suspect domestic violence or abuse

If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you’re hesitating—telling yourself that it’s none of your business, you might be wrong, or that the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save their life.

Talk to the person in private and let them know that you’re concerned. Point out the signs you’ve noticed that worry you. Tell the person that you’re there for them, whenever they feel ready to talk. Reassure them that you’ll keep whatever is said between the two of you, and let them know that you’ll help in any way you can.

Remember, abusers are very good at controlling and manipulating their victims. People who have been emotionally or physically abused are often depressed, drained, scared, ashamed, and confused. They need help getting out of the situation, yet their partner has often isolated them from their family and friends.

By picking up on the warning signs and offering support, you can help someone escape an abusive situation and begin healing.

Do’s and Don’ts

Do:

• Ask if something is wrong
• Express your concern
• Listen and Validate
• Offer to help
• Support their decisions

Don’t:

• Wait for the person to come to you
• Blame or judge them
• Pressure them to act
• Give advice
• Place conditions on your support

Helplines and support

Help for women

In the U.S.
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).

Canada
Visit ShelterSafe to find the helpline of a women’s shelter near you.

UK
Call Women’s Aid UK at 0808 2000 247.

Ireland
Call Women’s Aid at 1800 341 900.

Australia
Call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.

Help for men

In the U.S. and Canada
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

UK
Call the ManKind Initiative at 01823 334244.

Ireland
Call AMEN at 046 902 3710.

Australia
Visit One in Three Campaign.

Everyone deserves relationships free from domestic violence.