How to Get Out of an Abusive Relationship

Escaping domestic violence and abuse isn’t easy, but you deserve to live free of fear. Here’s how to find help, protect yourself, and safely leave an abusive relationship.

If you’re in an abusive relationship

Why don’t they just leave? It’s the question many people ask when they learn that someone is suffering battery and abuse. But if you are in an abusive relationship, you know that it’s not that simple. Ending a significant relationship is never easy. It’s even harder when you’ve been isolated from your family and friends, psychologically beaten down, financially controlled, and physically threatened.

If you’re trying to decide whether to stay or leave, you may be feeling confused, uncertain, frightened, and torn. Maybe you’re still hoping that your situation will change or you’re afraid of how your partner will react if they discover that you’re trying to leave.

One moment, you may desperately want to get away, and the next, you may want to hang on to the relationship. Maybe you even blame yourself for the abuse or feel weak and embarrassed because you’ve stuck around in spite of it. Don’t be trapped by confusion, guilt, or self-blame. The only thing that matters is your safety.

If you are being abused, remember:

You are not to blame for being battered or mistreated.
You are not the cause of your partner’s abusive behavior.
You deserve to be treated with respect.
You deserve a safe and happy life.
Your children deserve a safe and happy life.
You are not alone. There are people waiting to help.

There are many resources available for both abused and battered women and men, including crisis hotlines, shelters—even job training, legal services, and childcare. Start by reaching out today.