| Abusers often monitor their partner’s activities, including their phone, computer, and Internet use. You may be afraid to leave or ask for help out of fear that your partner will retaliate if they find out. However, there are precautions you can take to stay safe and keep your abuser from discovering what you’re planning.
When seeking help for domestic violence and abuse, it’s important to cover your tracks, especially when you’re using the home phone, a smartphone, or a computer. Call from a friend’s or neighbor’s phone when seeking help for domestic violence, or use a public pay phone or a “burner phone.” Check your smartphone settings. There are smartphone apps your abuser can use to listen in on your calls, read your text messages, monitor your Internet usage, or track your location. Consider turning it off when not in use or leaving it behind when fleeing your abuser. Get a second cell phone. To keep your communication and movements private, consider purchasing a prepaid cell phone (“burner” phone) or another smartphone that your abuser doesn’t know about. Some domestic violence shelters offer free cell phones to battered women. Call your local hotline to find out more. Call, collect or use your second cell phone. Remember that if you use your own home phone, the phone numbers that you call will be listed on the monthly bill that is sent to your home. Even if you’ve already left by the time the bill arrives, your abuser may be able to track you down by the phone numbers you’ve called for help. Use a safe computer. If you seek help online, you are safest if you use a computer outside of your home. While there are ways to delete your Internet history on a computer, tablet, or smartphone that your abuser has access to, this can be a red flag that you’re trying to hide something. Besides, unless you’re very technical, it can be almost impossible to clear all evidence of the websites that you’ve visited. Use a computer at work, the library, your local community center, a domestic violence shelter or agency, or borrow a smartphone from a friend. Change your usernames and passwords. In case your abuser knows how to access your accounts, create new usernames and passwords for your email, messaging apps, online banking, and other sensitive accounts. Even if you don’t think your abuser has your passwords, they may have guessed or used a spyware or keylogging program to get them. Choose passwords that your abuser can’t guess (avoid birthdays, nicknames, and other personal information). Protecting yourself from surveillance and recording devicesYour abuser doesn’t need to be tech savvy in order to use surveillance technology to monitor your movements and listen in on your conversations. Your abuser could be using: Hidden cameras, such as a “Nanny Cam,” covert security cameras, or even a baby monitor to check in on you. Smartphone apps that can enable your abuser to monitor your phone usage or track your movements. Global Positioning System (GPS) devices hidden in your car, purse, on your phone, or other objects you carry with you. Your abuser can also use your car’s GPS system to see where you’ve been. If you discover any tracking or recording devices or apps, leave them be until you’re ready to leave. While it may be tempting to remove them or shut them off, this will alert your abuser that you’re on to him. Everyone deserves relationships free from domestic violence. When you’re ready, the Domestic Violence Hotline is there to listen with confidential support 24/7/365. (988) 799-7233 |
